normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
