i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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