I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
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Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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