I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
