He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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