Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
