I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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