Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
