so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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