im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
