i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
