i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you had me at cake vodka
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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