People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize