I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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