Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
