the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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