nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
