He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So squirting runs in the family.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
