is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
