I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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