THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
