I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
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I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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