i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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