im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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