I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar