I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?