They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.