just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
