I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
