Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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