Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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