winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
