Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
