My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
