umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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