those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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