i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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