I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
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Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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