One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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