____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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