Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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