And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
