whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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