i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
