this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
