do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
