he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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