Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
