so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have post one night stand depression
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