you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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