Please, let me fuck your mom
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize