There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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