i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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