ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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