I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
