That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
