it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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