but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
