I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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