My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
