What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize