I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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