just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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