I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love having hate sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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