you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Boobs speak an international language.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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