I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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