I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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