Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
