I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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