found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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