it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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