Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
